Parent power: Nightmares and how to encourage sweet dreams

We all want sweet dreams for our children, but nightmares and night terrors are surprisingly common among the very young

Your child is tucked up in bed counting sheep – after all, what do they have to worry about? In fact, monsters and baddies lie in wait to haunt their dreams, meaning disturbed nights for them (and you). The good news is that this is a normal childhood phase, even if it’s a nightmare while it lasts.

Bad dreams
Nightmares are incredibly common in childhood. The Sleep Foundation points to research findings that half of children aged from three to six have frequent nightmares. This reduces to about a fifth of children aged from six to 12. Bad dreams typically abate as children move into adolescence.

Nightmares almost always happen during the latter half of the night – typically during REM sleep, which is why children may remember what happened the next morning. If they do recount their bad dream, it’s important to let them talk through the story and provide reassurance without dwelling too much on its theme. As they grow older, they start to understand that it’s just a scary dream – although very young children may struggle with separating real from imagined events.

Night terrors
Night terrors are very different, manifesting as obviously disturbed sleep and happening earlier in the night. During a night terror, children may move around, open their eyes or speak. These incidents are thought to affect around a third of young children aged three to seven – happening most frequently in the pre-school years.

While such incidents often look alarming and every parental instinct might tell you to wake your child up and comfort them, experts advise that you stay quiet and let things play out unless there’s an imminent risk to safety. The good news is that children experiencing night terrors invariably remember nothing the following morning, even if you’re left feeling wrung out.

Quiet nights
As children learn about the world, their dreams reflect growing awareness of potential dangers. Imaginary monsters feature heavily in the nightmares of pre-schoolers, with real-world dangers played out for school-age children. There may be specific triggers causing the nightmares. Being overtired, unwell, certain medications and the stress of change (including a new school) all increase the likelihood of disturbed nights. If they persist or the same dream happens on repeat, keep a sleep diary to determine the pattern before seeking advice.

For the vast majority of families, the nightmares pass, and a regular bedtime routine remains the tried and trusted way to encouraging sweet dreams. Let your child wind down slowly and avoid stimulants – including chocolate, sugary drinks and screens. Also switch on parental controls to stop children encountering scary content at other times. Old school it may be, but reading a happy bedtime story together and tucking them up with the extra protection of a teddy bear or two remains the very best way to ensure a good night for one and all.

Further reading: Party time and how to cope