Nathaniel McCullagh, Managing Director of Simply Learning Tuition, gives advice on supporting a child through a rough patch at school

Q: My daughter has never been a high-flier, but she has always done quite well at school. However, in the past year I have noticed her marks and reports getting worse. She also seems less motivated about schoolwork. I am concerned for her but don’t want to make things worse – is there anything I can do?

A: Children’s performance at school can deteriorate for many reasons. The key first step is to investigate what may be going wrong in your daughter’s case. Have an open, empathetic conversation with her. Avoid ‘why’ questions (‘why are you doing badly?’), as these will make her defensive. Instead, ask open-ended questions like, ‘I’ve noticed you seem to be struggling at school. Could you help me understand what’s going on?’.

Consider talking to her teachers about your concerns. You could ask if they have noticed any changes in her behaviour, if she has changed friends, and what her attitude to learning is like. The school’s perspective will help round out your picture of what is causing your daughter’s struggles.

If her marks are falling across subjects, motivation could be an issue. Many parents worry that their child is being lazy or simply does not care, but this is rarely the case. Lots of factors can be demotivating – the pressure to do well or feeling ‘stupid’ and unable to keep up, for instance. Often there is a vicious cycle where poor results lead to lower motivation.

It is common for children to struggle more at school as they get older, because the study skills needed to succeed change. The ability to learn independently and manage time become more important. Many naturally intelligent children lack these skills, and they are rarely formally taught. Reflect on your daughter’s working environment at home – is it quiet, comfortable and distraction-free? Observe her working patterns and see whether she leaves enough time for homework or often seems disorganised.

As you try to support her, the key balance to manage is being there for her while not doing her work for her. She might need your help early on – whether it’s planning a study schedule or sitting with her as she does her homework – but you should gradually wean her off this support. Don’t forget to give her plenty of praise, but make this specific and related to effort not results.

You may also want to consider enlisting the help of a private tutor. Many children struggle in group classes, where the lesson moves at the pace of the ‘average’ student, leaving those who find a topic challenging behind. Good tuition is tailored to the individual student’s needs and good tutors will not only cover the course content but also build up study skills – a trusted mentor, improving confidence and attainment in tandem.

One final note: try to separate the child from the grades. Your daughter very likely knows that she is underachieving and is probably struggling with this knowledge. The unconditional love of a parent will be the bedrock on which her return to success will be built. A blip in academic attainment is not uncommon and your daughter can definitely emerge stronger from the experience, provided she has an ecosystem of love and support to help her.

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Further reading: Quintessentially Education on preparing your child for the ISEB

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