Parent Power: "I'm bored"

That sad refrain ‘I’m so bored’ is a heart-sink moment for every parent – so is it time for sympathy or tough love?

Today’s children may be blessed with technology that lets them explore the world with their fingertips, but nearly every young human utters that dread phrase ‘I’m bored!’ at some point. Hearing it is particularly galling when you know they have a bedroom full of books, toys and games – but before you embark on a back-in-my-day lecture, think beyond the words.

Engaging minds

What your child calls boredom may be a desire for engagement with another human. This is especially true of younger children, who blow us away with their digital prowess but often lack the focus or confidence to know what to do with their time and energy. Sometimes they need adult interaction and direction.

Anti-boredom strategies at this age often mean turning off the screen. Asking a child to help with a household project (cooking, gardening or organising) can be turned into a bit of fun. Helping them start off that construction or craft kit still in its box or getting them to read to you or solve a puzzle while you catch up with an essential chore can bring comfortable togetherness while still encouraging them to occupy themselves.   

Self-directed play

From the youngest years, it’s critically important to support self-directed play and investigation – particularly in a world where so many children are relentlessly busy with adult-organised activities, both in and out of school. Not every activity has to have a measurable outcome, which is why it’s good to encourage open-ended and repetitive explorations, such as garden nature watch, star gazing – even daydreaming.

 Digital devices can be a valuable tool, offering everything from nature ID tools to sophisticated games creation and puzzle solving. One big plus is that many of the most popular digital games right now are shared, meaning children get engagement and challenge with friends and classmates.

Creative fuel

Stopping boredom in older children can be a trial, especially over the longer holidays and there is a time for tough love. The ‘why don’t you go and tidy your room?’ suggestion will be greeted with deep sighs but they will survive the indignity, just as you did. Alongside mislaid mugs and school kit, they may even rediscover games and toys they were passionate about only a few months ago.   

Let’s not forget that boredom can fuel creativity. It’s often described as a natural ‘recharge’ point for our brains and has inspired great art and intellectual leaps down the years. Who knows what a young mind at a loose end might discover? Also, although they won’t believe you now, doing nothing is a precious freedom of childhood – something they will look back on with nostalgia when they are as old and as busy as you.

Further reading: Party time and how to cope