Parent power: Team talk

Great sporting meets are irresistible when things go right, but how do we prepare children for the prospect that defeat is part of the ‘beautiful game’?

The highs and lows of this summer’s World Cup bring celebration, national pride and edge-of-the-seat excitement. Children are the most passionate of supporters, which makes letdowns all the more painful when things don’t go to plan. For those who have lived through defeat so many times, it’s a moment to step up to a really big parenting challenge.

Winning perspective

Injuries, foolish player fouls, own goals, referee decisions that don’t seem fair – this, of course, is the meat and drink of football punditry. Long before the World Cup gets to its final, we can be certain the reporting will have hit fever pitch and that the chatter of amateur commentators will be deafening.

Children’s heightened sense of fairness is not matched by a fully formed radar for bias, bluster and fighting talk, so it is important to balance out what they might read and hear. It can help to laugh off the most unfair criticisms and then talk dispassionately about why it might be that a certain outcome happened or how the referee reached their decision.

Life lessons

Acknowledging disappointment is fine, but it’s also important to show respect for the officials doing a tough job. Similarly, when players and managers don’t achieve the hoped for outcome, it’s important to encourage children to look beyond goals and points by acknowledging team effort and the courage required to represent your country on a world stage.

As every teacher can tell you, lessons in failure are critical to self-belief, wellbeing and resilience – and sport is among the safest ways for children to learn from failures. So, whatever the outcome, this year’s World Cup matters for children as they understand more about the process of winning and losing – and, no doubt, hone their own skills as football pundits.

60 years plus of hurt

Of course, for many parents the World Cup brings a library of memories – including those terrible ref decisions and agonising penalty shoot-outs. As you bond over the ‘beautiful game’, enjoy the thrills and the tension, but spare a thought for the impact such raw drama has on children, who haven’t notched up as many games lost as you. Tears of anguish are not unusual in young fans, as a camera scan of the losing side’s crowd at televised matches shows.

It can be the toughest ask of all in the heat of a game to model sportsmanlike behaviour and show respect due to both winners and losers, but a steady approach from you goes a long way to supporting your child’s emotional regulation – both in sport and in life. It’s a result to aim for, and one that will last long after this World Cup’s final whistle blows. So do your very best to stay calm under match-day pressure.

Further reading: Parent power – hobby time