Jason Tait, Director of Pastoral Care & Designated Safeguarding Lead at TASIS England, discusses the ways in which schools can teach children and young people how to have healthy relationships, for life
In 2021, a sixth of children had a probable mental health disorder, and referrals to NHS mental health services rose by 33%. This, alongside recent anonymous testimonies of sexual harassment culture and school exclusions – mainly due to bullying – highlight major issues facing children and teens. Some 90% of children have a smartphone by senior school, according to Ofcom, increasing their risk of harm.
The statistics show systemic issues and also a significant communication gap between young people and adults in accessing early help and support. One critical issue is to understand that child-on-child relationship issues often occur beyond adult supervision, frequently involving their online and social lives outside the school setting.
Within the new inspection framework developed by the Independent Schools Inspectorate (ISI), Section 23 emphasizes pupil voice and wellbeing. This includes encouraging schools to adopt a comprehensive and contextual approach to safeguarding, based on an understanding of the relationships that children have within their peer groups – at school, online, and in their community.
The work of social researcher and sociology professor Dr Carlene Firmin MBE highlights how safeguarding systems should best respond when young people come to harm. This framework focuses on partnerships between educational settings and ensuring age appropriateness in social networks. It also advocates a shared culture of safety for everyone outside of the family involved in the child’s wellbeing. There’s a strong focus on prevention of future harm by helping young people form healthy relationships.
Listening to and understanding young people requires ongoing commitment. Interventions must include the child’s perspective to ensure their experiences are understood and addressed. Child-on-child relationship issues that occur in social settings, both online and offline, are often perpetuated by a ‘snitch culture’, where bystanders either support the harmer or remain silent to avoid becoming targets themselves.
TASIS empowers students with skills to manage peer relationships and to dismantle both fear and unhealthy power dynamics – within or beyond school. Our Values In Action Program works to foster independence and personal growth in relationships by promoting principled thinking, compassion, and open-mindedness. It focuses on three main areas:
Compassionate Through Advocacy This means speaking up for others and making your voice heard on important issues. TASIS encourages students to advocate for themselves, their peers, and their values, teaching them about recognizing harm, empathizing with others and reporting concerns.
Principled Through Active Bystanding This helps to reduce harassment and bullying in a systematic way. Students are taught the ‘four Ds’ (Direct, Distract, Delegate, Delay) to safely intervene as Active Bystanders.
Open-Minded Through Restoration By bringing together those harmed and those who caused the harm, the incident can be discussed and addressed. This approach emphasizes respect, responsibility and repair within a culture of accountability and healing.
Teaching students to be advocates, active bystanders, and restorative practitioners creates a safer and more inclusive community. This is vitally important because the relationships that our young people make during their formative years influence what they expect from relationships as they grow into adulthood. By modelling and teaching this positive approach – and showing what healthy relationships look like – we have the opportunity to reduce the risk of future harm for children and young people.
TASIS England tasisengland.org
Further reading: Let’s talk relationships
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