Lost property and how to reduce it

Bag, trainers, unform, sports kit, is there anything they can’t mislay? Lost property is one of the biggest frustrations for parents, so here’s what you need to know

The ritual of hunt the tie, shoes, trainers or blazer can sap the joy from even the sunniest morning and, let’s face it, it can be hard to stay calm when high-value or irreplaceable items have suddenly gone missing. Like all great cosmic mysteries, where some of kids’ stuff ends up is never clear – but there are strategies to help parents keep property within the known universe.

Lost in the moment

Up to the age of about six, children are not constitutionally equipped to care about their stuff. This is because they live in and for the moment. With so much fun to be had playing, learning and exploring, that school jumper, tie or pair of socks is just one more casualty of a busy day of adventures.

The solution is, of course, labels. This doesn’t always work but the chances their uniform and other kit will return home are greatly increased. Make a point of tagging everything they wear or carry out of the house and get them involved in the creative task of choosing and labelling their favourite treasures.

Checklists and reminders

Children are never too young to be nudged in the direction of caring for their property, so establish the good principle early. When they are very young, this can be a ‘can you find?’ game, but as they grow the nudges need to be a little more robust. Making lists, leaving notes and doing verbal checklists all help enormously.

Establish routines of where they should put their things when they get home – shoes and bag by the front door, coat on the hook, school bag in bedroom, and so on. The combined checklist and ‘everything in its place’ approaches help to build children’s capacity to remember detail. This will also, hopefully, reduce the morning meltdowns and enforced games of hunt the left school shoe for the rest of your family.

It’s important to remember that some children are more organisationally challenged than others. Sequencing tasks may, for instance, be an issue experienced by children who have dyslexia or other learning difficulties. Whether or not there’s an additional barrier, patience, practice and planning ahead are strategies to help build the skills to get to and from school without losing or forgetting possessions.

Penalties and consequences

There is a point where children need to recognise that losing property can have consequences. A child can’t get by without their school jumper, but they can perhaps wait a little longer or ‘save up’ for the smart toy or expensive new trainers they mislaid. It will certainly feel like a harsh punishment at the time, but sometimes these actions and consequences lessons are the ones that stick.

Further reading: Fashion experiments and how to manage them