Resilience is a word we use a lot these days, but how do schools help children to build confidence in a way that embraces failure on the journey to success? We speak to five prep schools about their strategy for try, try again
New Hall School
At New Hall School in Oxford, the team work to create a culture where mistakes are seen as an integral part of the learning process. Younger pupils are taught that failure is not something to fear, but an opportunity to grow. Teachers emphasise that it’s normal to get things wrong and that the most important thing is the effort they put into trying again. This is reinforced through classroom discussions, collaborative problem-solving tasks and stories where characters succeed after persevering. Staff employ a growth mindset approach, helping children understand that their abilities can develop through persistence.
To help children identify and build on their strengths, there are a mixture of approaches, including one-to-one teacher discussions, peer assessments, and self-reflection exercises. New Hall pupils are encouraged to think critically about their abilities, what they enjoy, and where they excel. Then teachers help them set achievable goals based on these strengths, gradually building on small successes. They find that strengths-based learning is a great way to celebrate individual progress and personal growth (rather than comparisons to others). This also fosters intrinsic motivation – pupils can see the effort they put in leading to improvement.
Sport and outdoor learning are part of the toolbox for building resilience. Whether it’s on the playing field, visits to the school farm or outdoor adventures, the activities help children push through challenges, manage frustration when they can’t ‘get it right’ and also work within a team. The New Hall team find that outdoor environments present unique opportunities to fail safely and try again. They also foster problem-solving skills, risk-taking, and adaptability – supporting both wellbeing and mental resilience.
There is strong emphasis here on recognising not just academic success, but also perseverance, curiosity, and personal progress. Reward systems are designed to celebrate the process of learning – valuing effort over achievement to help pupils understand why hard work and determination are as important as reaching the end goal. This approach motivates pupils to keep pushing through learning barriers, even when the going gets tough.
Fostering a supportive community where every child feels valued and encouraged is vital, say the team. Mindfulness practices and emotional literacy are integral parts of our curriculum, helping children manage stress and navigate challenges. Opportunities for leadership – from being a prefect to participating in School Council – let children take on responsibility and shine.
New Hall School newhallschool.co.uk
Kew College Prep
At Kew College Prep, the team understand that many children feel nervous about making mistakes, which can hold them back from exploring new opportunities. There’s a big focus on nurturing self-esteem– showing even the youngest and most timid pupils that mistakes aren’t something to fear, but an essential part of the learning process.
Prep staff say that a supportive and tight-knit community is critical to this. Teachers focus on building strong, trusting relationships with each child, using praise to create a space where the children feel able to try new things. Whether they’re tackling a challenging maths problem, performing on stage, or competing in sports, pupils are encouraged to believe in themselves and their potential.
One of the ways a ‘tryer’ mentality is modelled is through sticky questions – where there isn’t a clear right or wrong answer. These spark open discussions and encourage critical thinking, allowing children to see that the journey of figuring things out is as important as the solution. By exploring different viewpoints, they learn to embrace uncertainty and recognise the value in trial and error.
Teachers also model this mindset by openly demonstrating how they handle mistakes and learn from them, reminding students that nobody is perfect. This gives children the confidence to step outside their comfort zones and keep going, even when things get tough. In PSHE lessons, resilience is a regular theme, helping each child recognise their unique strengths and celebrate their progress.
The concept of a growth mindset is also introduced, teaching children that just because something feels hard now doesn’t mean it will always be that way. This helps them to approach challenges with patience and determination. Achievements are celebrated via regular assemblies, where children share their successes, both in and out of school.
Beyond the classroom, outdoor learning environments – including forest school sessions – offer even more opportunities to build resilience. From climbing trees to using tools for woodwork, Nursery and Reception children engage in ‘risky play’ which fosters independence and a can-do attitude.
The Kew Collee Prep team note that praise, reward, and recognition are essential to helping children push beyond their perceived limits. Positive feedback, house points, and awards celebrate not only top achievements but also the effort it takes to overcome hurdles. With problem-solving, sports, and mindfulness embedded within the curriculum, they have the tools needed to be resilient, confident learners.
Kew College Prep kewcollegeprep.com
The King Alfred School
At The King Alfred School (KAS) in North London, Head of Lower School Karen Thomas says we adults need to resist our natural tendency to protect the children in our care at all costs. “It does little to equip them with the tools and strategies they need to live healthy, happy lives,” she says. “Understanding what to do when faced with adversity is woven into the fabric of our educational provision,” she says. “We place as much value on how we learn as what we learn.”
She adds that having a shared language and an expectation for children to review themselves as learners is key to developing effective learning dispositions such as resilience. “By helping children identify, understand and expect the feelings we get when something challenges us, we start to disperse the mystery of the learning process, allowing children to be curious and brave rather than afraid when they are not immediately successful.”
The concept of “productive struggle” is introduced to the youngest children as an important indicator that learning is happening. In the Early Years, for instance, resilience is also addressed through books – KAS favourites include Tilda Tries Again, After the Fall and Yes You Can, Cow. Together, teachers and children analyse characters’ emotions and actions from the safety of the story corner and this helps children to make links to their own experiences.
“Classroom talk often references ‘bounce-ability’ – how do we get back up after something is too difficult? We teach the children the science of learning – how their brain can grow and strengthen when they take risks, learn new skills, solve problems, and make mistakes,” says Karen Thomas. “We talk with children about having a growth mindset, scaffolding their approach to challenge with a positive mental attitude.”
Above all else, says Karen Thomas, helping children become resilient relies on teachers and caregivers really knowing each child. “When we know their different strengths, experiences and levels of confidence we are able to provide the right level of challenge at school in terms of the learning experiences we design,” she says. “We help children to identify when something is too easy, too hard or just right, so that they can exercise their ‘resilience muscle’ safe in the knowledge that that we will be there to champion their efforts, to cheer them on or to offer a helping hand.”
The King Alfred School kingalfred.org.uk
Bickley Park School
“Perseverance is a key School value here at Bickley Park,” says Headmaster Tom Quilter. “We aim to model and promote the benefits of a growth mindset, embracing the concept that failure is a key part of success. Imagine, if as babies, we gave up the first time we fell? We would never learn to walk. Some of my favourite assemblies, centre on the theme of learning to pick ourselves back up.”
The Bromley prep and pre-prep loves to remind children that it’s not that they can’t do it, they just can’t do it yet. “We are determined to make sure that we identify, nurture and celebrate every child’s strengths and talents. By finding that spark, ensuring efforts are rewarded and then celebrating achievement – we see self-esteem snowball,” adds Tom Quilter.
The curriculum is framed around what are known as the Four Quadrants of Learning – Academics, Sport & Outdoor, Arts and Community. “Together they arm our pupils with skills for life – a love of learning; the ability to communicate confidently; the desire to contribute meaningfully to society and show initiative; resilience, teamwork and the confidence to take risks.”
Sport & Outdoor is especially key to developing resilience and confidence, with sport sitting alongside a Forest and Adventure School programme. “We aim to foster teamwork and leadership skills, whilst developing independence and the ability to manage risk,” adds the Head. “And we believe in sport for all – for example, ensuring that all pupils are exposed to healthy competition and can represent the school throughout their time with us.”
The Adventure School programme builds on forest school sessions and sees all children in Years 3 -8 taking part in residential trips which focus on progressively demanding skills and challenges – from camping in the Peak District and the South Downs to a kayaking adventure along the Cornish coast.
In all of these adventures, Tom Quilter believes it’s important to foster a supportive culture where pupils recognise the importance of supporting and looking out for others. “We foster kindness, inclusion and respect in everything that we do,” he says. “We pride ourselves in being a kind school that celebrates and embraces diversity.”
Bickley Park School bickleyparkschool.co.uk
Christ Church Cathedral School
At CCCS in Oxford, the boys are encouraged to ‘give things a go’, says Deputy Head (Pastoral) Nick Harrison. “From a young age through lessons, assemblies and play times we try to instil the belief that giving things a go and getting them wrong is much better than shying away from difficult situations. Our teaching staff are careful not to discourage our pupils from raising their hands during lesson time, even if they think they are wrong.”
There’s a new enrichment programme at the Prep, which helps to reinforce this by giving boys the chance to take part in activities they wouldn’t normally do. “Our hope is that through this Programme, we can continue to increase our boy’s resilience and increase their opportunities to explore activities they might enjoy and find challenging.”
Alongside enrichment, PHSE is used to help guide pupils to understand their strengths and weaknesses. “We find this an invaluable process that enables them to enjoy the process of being good at something alongside the challenge of improving at something else,” says Nick Harrison.
Sport and wellbeing are a big part of school life, even in the school’s city-central location. “We make sure our pupils know that they are in a privileged position to be able to play on such wonderful playing fields (Christ Church Meadows) and take part in woodland activities whilst still being in the heart of Oxford.” Pre-Prep pupils have dedicated Woodland School lessons, now being introduced through to Year 8 as part of enrichment. “We are able to reinforce key messages that help to build resilience and help with their general wellbeing,” adds Nick Harrison.
In common with many schools, there’s a focus on effort-based praise. “We firmly believe that if our pupils focus on trying their best rather than achieving the best mark, there is no ceiling to their learning. We find this attitude often leads to more resilient children and ultimately excellent results when testing in a more formal manner.”
CCCS is a small school, with a family feel, so children are known. But it also has a linear pastoral system, where older children visit younger classes, especially during Form time. “We find this ‘buddy system’ gives boys the opportunity to speak to a range of ages and helps them to feel included and nurtured at every level.”
Christ Church Cathedral School cccs.org.uk
Further reading: Early Years Spotllight – the Shaping Us Framework
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